We Just Want to Vent!
Something that has really been bothering me lately is the fact that I can’t vent openly about my AS. Well, I can, but more recently my friends and family have been putting me to the side when I talk about my symptoms.
I just want to vent!
I feel like sometimes venting can make people uncomfortable. Especially those people in our lives who don’t have chronic illnesses. It’s almost like I’m in a separate world from many of the people in my life.
Some days are harder than others. Most days, I can handle my symptoms and not talk about them non-stop. Other days are different. When I’m going through a lot of pain, all I want to do is 1. Be distracted and 2. Be able to let out my frustration, sadness, anger, and whatever else I’m feeling with no judgment.
How we feel
As it’s been brought to my attention, it’s not easy for the people in our lives to hear about our pain and suffering. Trust me, I get that! It’s awful to see someone you love go through a major life change which results in pain, fatigue, depression, and many other comorbidities.
But from our standpoint, we’re going through all of these changes and all of this pain, and it’s frustrating! It’s really difficult and some days we just want to scream at the top of our lungs!
We don’t want to cause our loved ones pain. We really don’t. But sometimes we just need to let it all out with no repercussions or judgment. As we all know, bottling feelings up can never do us any good.
How to let us vent
So, how can you let us vent in a way that is healthy and needed by us? I’m here to tell you! Keep in mind, this is just my opinion on how I would like to be treated. Everyone has different wants and needs!
- Come into the conversation with an open mind - Nothing is worse than spilling your feelings to someone who is closed-minded and not willing to actually listen.
- LISTEN! - When I need to vent, I just want to pour all of my feelings out. They might not all make sense, but just listen and try to understand that I don’t need a response sometimes. I just need someone to bounce my feelings off of.
- Don’t try to relate - One of my biggest pet peeves is when a friend or family member tries to relate to me being in pain. I’m sorry, but no, you don’t know what my hip feels like when it flares. And you don’t feel as fatigued as I do when my body is so heavy I can’t possibly get out of bed.
- Don’t downplay our feelings - Please please please never downplay a person with chronic illnesses feelings. What we feel is extremely valid and true. If we feel comfortable enough to vent to you, that means you mean something to us, and downplaying our feelings will upset us.
4 simple ways
These are my 4 simple ways to let us vent in an open and healthy way! What are your tips for having a healthy vent session?
Other than back pain and fatigue, what is the most common symptom that AS patients experience?