Surreal Pain Dreams
Throughout the past year I have noticed that even in the deepest slumber, my pain can control me. Often the pain might wake me. This is annoying but what I find worse is when the pain enters my dreams. It can be a normal dream but is usually a nightmare, complete with confusion, terror, and intense dread. Real pain in a dream can make the whole experience more vivid and unnerving.
My first ankylosing spondylitis pain dream
The first dream that was controlled by my pain that I can recall is: I was walking around my hometown. If you’ve seen the movie split, you will be able to imagine what I’m about to say next. I was walking around my hometown carrying "Kevin Wendell Crumb," played by James McAvoy on my back. At the end of the movie, he is inhumanly strong, like the hulk. So, you can imagine that that is pretty heavy to be carrying on your back. I remember in the dream I was trying to put him down, but the more I tried the stronger and heavier he got. I know, hilarious right?
I have had many since this. Often the pain manifests in dreams simply as someone or something putting pressure on my back or slipping and falling on my back. Or it may be a nightmare. The dreams may be fantasy or seem so real that I’m left confused when I wake up. The dreams are pure illusions but the pain I feel during them is real.
Here is one example of pain controlling my dreams. It felt real. In the dream, I was driving home, and I crashed my car. Everything in the dream was real and correct, there was no fantasy in this dream. Everything looked real, the road, the houses, my car. Anyways, I crashed my car causing it to roll over and over until it landed upside down.
I was in a car crash before, and the thing that stuck with me the most was the sound. What a terrifyingly loud sound. That exact noise happened in my dream. The windshield and windows broke, there was glass everywhere. I was upside down, my whole body hurt. I wasn’t scared, I was just in pain. All I could see was glass everywhere, my phone was also smashed. I got out of the car and the paramedics were there. For the rest of my dream, the paramedics were pulling shards of glass out of my back.
When I woke up that morning, my back was in agony. It felt like I was hit by a bus. Or in a car crash...For a couple of seconds, I thought the car crash happened. I searched for my phone, to see if it was smashed.
Isn’t it crazy how much pain can control us, even our dreams? I hate being woken up by pain, but I would prefer that to have these scary realistic dreams controlled by my pain.
Does anyone else have their pain manifest in their dreams? Or am I just a little crazy? I would love to hear your dreams, the crazier the better!
Do you live with any other conditions in addition to AS? (choose all that apply)