Streaking For The Over 60s Might Be Just What's Needed

Last updated: October 2021

As I’ve got older, I’ve become less inhibited about certain things. I’d always believed (naively perhaps) a person got more inhibited as they aged. Not less. But maybe it’s the AS. Getting diagnosed with a life-long condition can make you sit down and wonder at it all, can’t it? It brings sharply into focus what does and what doesn’t matter for you as an individual. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel as self-conscious or inhibited as I did 30 years ago.

Just to be clear though, I’m not talking about running down the high street b*llock naked, type of inhibited. I’m not up for doing that. Well, maybe I might be. But it would need to be for a good cause. An AS charity, for example. Although my wife would have something to say about that, I’ve no doubt. In any case, how far would I get before my bones started to scream blue murder?

On the plus side though, if I did attempt to run naked through the streets, I might finally make it into the Guinness Book of Records. I’ve always wanted to do that. Probably not as the fastest streaker on record anymore, but maybe I’d qualify for the "slowest, and most painful" streaker category.

In my mind’s eye I can just see myself wobbling painfully past Tesco as a couple of old girls exit the store laden with their weekly supply of loose tea, custard creams, and Wright’s Coal Tar soap. I can imagine them peering over their spectacles as I stagger by and one old girl turning to the other and saying, "That reminds me, Doris, I meant to get chipolatas for our Bert’s tea."

What would my children say?

But no. I couldn’t streak, could I? Not at my age. Not in my condition. What would people think? What would my children say? Actually, I can imagine what they’d say. Something akin to - isn’t it about time we put Dad in a home – preferably one with big gates, high walls and staffed by a small army of Nurse Ratcheds.

I’ve got a little side-tracked there. This article wasn’t supposed to go off at a tangent like that. I’d intended to talk about something much more serious. But I’ve had a good day today. So, I’m feeling a bit frivolous. My bones have been kind to me. The AS has left me in peace. And the sun has been shining – which it hasn’t been doing of late. It’s been dull and cool here.

Sunshine

Isn’t it amazing how sunshine lifts the spirits? It isn’t just me, is it? If I wake up in the morning and the sun is shining through the skylight, I am instantly lifted. Even if I am not exactly physically lifted out of bed, my spirits always are.  Talking of getting out of bed, I bet I’m not the only one who has had to develop a technique for making it from lying on their back to planting their feet on the floor.

My process, (which I am thinking of patenting), is called "The Rolling Hook, Foot and Grab-On" technique. To be honest, the title just about says it all. Step one: roll onto your side. Step two: hook your foot over the edge of the mattress. Step three: use your heel, hands, elbows, teeth, whatever, to draw yourself closer to the side of the bed so that eventually you either plumet over the edge (I did that a few times during the early development stages) or slip, graceful as a swan, into a semi-sitting position.

Don’t ask me to describe what my semi-sitting position looks like. It’s difficult to capture in words. Essentially, just try to picture me perched precariously on the edge of the bed looking like a cross between an ancient Buddha and an aging, aching silverback gorilla.

Laughing and smiling

I’m not going to write about what I planned to write about after all. I’ll save that for a day when I am feeling a little more defeated. And today isn’t one of those days. It’s a good day. And I hope it is for you too. I hope thoughts of me looking like an ancient Buddha/silverback gorilla, made you smile. Maybe even laugh a little. I love to laugh. And I love to make people laugh when I can. It makes me feel good about myself. And laughter is good for the soul, isn’t it? It releases chemicals into the body that helps ease pain and lifts our mood. And on that note, I’m going to clear off and get back to enjoying my day.

But before I go, I thought I’d share this link with you. It’s a link to an article that gives 11 reasons why we should laugh when we are able. In the meantime, has anyone got any good jokes to share?

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