The Negative Impact of Positivity Culture

By Anne-Marie Raymond

2 min read

I once worked for a company where the notion of positivity was prized above all else.

Falling short of your sales target? Stop finding excuses!

Current system not working? Stop focussing on negatives!

Feeling sick or in pain? Put on a brave face and soldier on!

It wasn’t safe to highlight problems. Anyone who did was branded negative and told to shift their perspective.

Forced positivity

Having once viewed myself as an optimist with a fairly sunny disposition, this workplace saw me seriously begin to doubt myself. Was I really such a negative person? The more the positivity push spread, the unhappier most people seemed and the bigger the problems became. It was like putting a fresh coat of paint over a building riddled with termites.

During this time I first developed symptoms of AS. Relentless back pain was interfering with my sleep and I struggled to manage all the driving and interstate travel the job required. Keeping up was getting harder and harder but I knew it wasn’t ok to speak up. I felt so guilty and alone and wished I could just think positive and get on with it like everyone else. Surely this was all in my head?

Eventually I left the job I’d grown to hate. It would take many years before my diagnosis and even more before I stopped invalidating myself for my inability to just get over it.

Toxic positivity

The term toxic positivity struck a real chord with me the first time I heard it. I immediately remembered that workplace, where it had been used in such a disempowering way. Being in that environment had so negatively influenced the way I thought about myself and had made becoming unwell much more difficult to accept.

There’s relief in accepting life as it really is, the good and the bad. There is not always a silver lining. There are days when you can’t find three things to be grateful for.

Call me a cynic, but I don’t believe everything happens for a reason, or that all things work together for good, or there’s always an upside. Sometimes life is just awful and we need to say it how it honestly is and have our voice heard, free from guilt.

I’m a realistic optimist

This gives me permission to see things as they are and still hope for the best outcomes.

These days I can say I’m not coping without seeing myself as a loser. I can acknowledge I’m going through a truly dreadful time without invalidating myself by saying "someone else probably has it worse right now." I can have a bad day, and be grumpy and feel sorry for myself. I can confidently say that getting an autoimmune disease was not my cosmic destiny, it was just bad luck.

Among the many lessons AS has taught me, treating myself fairly is probably the one I’ve come to value the most. Maybe I’ll turn that into an inspirational meme.

This article represents the opinions, thoughts, and experiences of the author; none of this content has been paid for by any advertiser. The AxialSpondyloarthritis.net team does not recommend or endorse any products or treatments discussed herein. Learn more about how we maintain editorial integrity here.

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Lisa Marie Basile Moderator & Contributor
There's a LOT of positively culture out there about pain and disease, that if we don't DWELL on our disease, it can't consume us. I mean, I do get the importance of mindset shifting and awareness, but scientific realities are realities and emotions are 100% valid. I am not into the toxic positive crowd. I prefer to stay aware of all my feelings, validate the tough ones, and do what I can do to keep going.
Nikkifriki-aks Member
Omg yes. "Smile it will never happen" (vomit) or "it's half psychological, stop being a victim and you won't be one". No I won't smile if I don't have the strength to and no I'm not a victim, I'm ill and it won't go away by acting like everything is okay. This comes from people who either don't understand or who don't want to. I'm not going to brim with positive energy if I don't even want to be out of bed. Thanks for this. ☺️
James Hollens Moderator & Contributor
Hi <inline-mention username="Anne-Marie Raymond" user-id="4169238"/> , I'm glad that you left that work place - that kind of enforced positivity would have driven me mad! I really feel what you are saying here. I'm all for staying positive but there are times where things aren't all rosey and it isn't healthy to pretend that they are! So pleased to hear that nowadays you have found better ways of looking at and dealing with these things. Thanks for a great read, James (Community Member)
Jed Finley Moderator & Contributor
<inline-mention username="Anne-Marie Raymond" user-id="4169238"/> Great article about the second biggest plague tearing through this country. The minimization of our feelings is so dangerous. Not only does it not help, but distracts from the true problem. Im a teacher and the education system is crumbling. The solution? Team yoga and t-shirts with positive messages.. No thanks 🙄 -Jed (Community Leader)
Lawrence Rick Phillips Moderator & Contributor
I was taught from the fist that I can ever recall, to plan for the worse and expect the best. As a child it was so difficult to do those dual things. I lost that once for many years. It is one of the many blessings that chronic disease gave back to me.
Lisa Marie Basile Moderator & Contributor
There is nothing worse than forced/toxic positivity. It is 100% one of the worst things built into society/capitalism/health communities. These ideas of positivity aim to help/support us, but they erase us. It's okay to feel crap. It's okay to not have a great time. It's okay to be human. This doesn't negate optimism or hope!

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