I Hate Winter

I would not say I like cold weather. My joints hurt more, I am inside more, I get less exercise, blah on winter. I mean, I really hate it. I like spring, I love summer, I would not say I like fall, and I hate winter. By the way, I dislike fall because it is a prelude to winter. Otherwise, if fall were the prelude to spring, I would be happy about it. But since it is before winter, it is as if fall means cold, snow, ice, and wind.

It's not my first "hate winter" rodeo

Every year I go through this same nonsense about winter. I say the same things. I complain and get grumpy. I tell anyone who will listen how much I hate it. I have done this so much that honestly, no one cares, and I do not blame them. Still, if I do not sound the woe is me alarm about winter, I think winter might be disappointing.

I nominated myself to be inducted in the international hall of fame for winter complaining, but it seems the judges said I was barely an amateur winter hater. Of course, I am not on the same level as the men who refuse to shave or leave their La-Z-Boy for four months, but I have a long enough track record that I thought I could get in. Well, maybe next year.

This year these are the nominees for the I hate winter hall of fame.  You be the judge:

Joe "Tennessee is Too Cold" Jacobs

Joe lives in southern TN, where the average temperatures range from about 26 to 48 degrees Fahrenheit. In the last three years, Joe had to shovel snow once, when his town received a dusting of ½ inch. Joe has to buy firewood to place outside his house, so it looks like he burns it to heat his home. He does not use wood, but he has told his neighbors he does so much that he has to keep a supply to add credibility to his stories.

Joe's main reason for hating winter; he hates hockey and basketball. Once football is done, well, he gets downright angry. This year is the fourth time Joe has been nominated.

Shelia "Oh My hair" Watson

Shelia lives in West Palm, FL, where the temperatures range from 59 to 74 degrees Fahrenheit.  She is forced to sometimes roll up her windows because of the winter chill. She is restricted from going to the beach most days in January and February, which means she has to spend a fortune on the tanning booth. Winter brings an average snowfall of...well there is no snow where she lives, but she has to look at it on TV often.

Shelia's main winter complaint (which she voices with flags on her car) is that hair care is expensive when the tourists are in town. This is Sheila's first nomination.

Tim "Too Damn Much Snow" Jones

Tim lives in Minnesota, and If you ask me, Tim has a great reason to hate winter. The average snowfall is somewhere north of outlandish. He shovels most of it and owns four pairs of heated socks and a pair of heated underwear.

Aside from the snow (which I think qualifies him outright), his underwear shorted out last year, and he had to explain it at the ER. I hear the low point was the extra temporary warmth added when he could not get his pants off in time. As most of us can attest, that warmth is only temporary.

I have good reason to hate winter

Aside from hating winter for winter's sake, it makes my joints hurt. Ahh, I dislike my joints crying out for a warmer climate. I know people get along well with arthritis and cold weather. Not me. I slow down and start moving like a turtle caught swimming upstream in a fast creek. Like the turtle, I sure could use a pull forward when it is cold and wet outside.

Maybe that is why I celebrate an additional holiday in December. Each December 22, I get my party hats out and bake a cake. After all, it is essential to observe that most important day.  December 22 is the day we turn the corner, and I start to prepare my summer couture. No way do I want to be caught unprepared for June 21 and the first day of summer. Which as everyone knows on that day, one must start to prepare their winter couture. Of course, that means I start thinking of winter, and in case you have not yet heard, I would not say I like winter.

Do you have a favorite and not so favorite season? Is ankylosing spondylitis worse or better during a season? Share the reasons you like a particular season or do not.

PS: I have a new hashtag that I hope you will use on Twitter to get the attention of next years nominating committee, please use it every chance you get:

#PutRickInTheHateWinterHallOfFameBecauseHeHatesWinterDamnIt

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