caret icon Back to all discussions

How do you manage romantic situations?

I have terrible hip and pelvic pain, how do I explain why I can't be in a physical relationship?

  1. Faye,

    I have been married for 42 years. I am guessing my wife better answer that? 😀

    Actually it is fine. Take things slow (better anyway), enjoy touch and sensation on each others skin. Maybe it is just me, but sex is better at my age when we take our time. In our relationship sex is not a marathon or sprint and that works well for AS.

    rick - (maybe, after my first comment, former) moderator

    1. Faye,

      You can have a perfectly healthy physical relationship!
      Its about making your partner aware of your pain and working on finding ways to be intimate without exacerbating the pain. Try different ways, talk to your Dr about different ways.
      I too have horrid hip and lower back pain and my husband understands sometimes we just need to try something different. He also understands when there are days that I just cant because of the pain.
      But don't just rule it out!!


      1. Hi there.
        Without sounding flippant, carefully.
        But seriously, I think it's probably best to be upfront with the other person. Tell them the truth. My guess is, if they are a good person they will understand. They'll give you space and time and will respect your dilemma. If, on the other hand, they aren't sympathetic to your situation, then they almost certainly aren't worth becoming involved with.
        Go steady
        Steve - Community Advocate.

        1. I have been single for several years now and I'm ok with it. It's a lot easier for me to just take care of myself and my furrr baby. Lady Gaga

          or create an account to reply.